Influencer: Big Men Edition - vincethealien
Music has the ability to nourish the soul and transport individuals to alternate worlds, evoking a range of emotions. It takes a special artist to create lyrics and sounds that can captivate and connect with listeners. vincethealien, a black artist hailing from Los Angeles, embodies this role with his progressive R&B and experimental pop style, making him a vital presence in today's music scene.
Through hard work and dedication to his craft, vincethealien has achieved remarkable success.In today’s interview with Big Boi Magazine, he discusses his journey towards body positivity, his favorite collaborations, and his music career. Don't miss the 20th edition of the magazine, which features this insightful conversation with vincethealien.
vincethealien came from me growing up and feeling a bit like an outsider; I grew up hiding a lot as a result of knowing I was “different”- code word for gay {laughs} - and I spent so much of my childhood in my head fantasizing about creating my own planet where I would be a singer and songwriter and where others who understood me would reside; as I got older and started to explore and unravel the feeling of being alone, misunderstood, undesirable while also loved, queer, black and talented through therapy, vincethealien came to me one day as I sat down and started writing my first single, which was ‘Rodeo Star’, this sensual black-ass-intergalactic-lap-dance inspired track celebrating sensuality, the color of my skin, and an opportunity to feel confident in who you are wrapped up in all of that.
I was really blessed to grow up in a family of amazing singers; some of my favorite childhood memories are attached to us having birthday parties or being out to dinner on holidays and singing Happy Birthday - both the regular version and the Stevie Wonder version {laughs}, gotta keep it black - in three or four part harmony, so being surrounded by that really started my love for music. A specific moment connected to one of my favorite humans on this earth - my grandmother - was the first time I sat on the floor in my grandparents kitchen while my she was cooking breakfast and I heard “Ordinary Love” by Sade - I can still feel the feeling that that song gave me; it’s a song that still haunts me in the best of ways and one that truly piqued my interest in becoming something that was connected to music.
Living in my own creative world as a kid really opened me up to all kinds of music so I listened to everything from funk to industrial progressive rock, r&b to smooth jazz, experimental pop to pure top 40 pop; I really loved it all and that really lead me to having very diverse influence when it came to music. Some artists who I think are staples for me when it comes to sounds, texture, and overall vibe include Nine Inch Nails for their lyrical vulnerability, soundscapes, & undeniable pop melodies over some real nasty production - nasty in a good ass way, Maxwell for his amazing almost free form way of singing, those gorgeous make-my-basement-flood vocals and the combination of progressive soul and R&B in the production, Tweet for her lush and very present harmony decisions, Roisin Murphy for her fearlessness when it comes to her music and iconic style, and…wait for it… the Spice Girls {laughs}, who were truly ahead of their time; if you don’t believe me, listen to “Last Time Lover” from their first album ‘Spice’ - the jazz, funk, r&b, and pop production on this song - chef’s kiss.
Other artists who sit on my list of big musical influences for a long ass list of reasons are Van Hunt, St. Vincent, Bilal, Kelela, Solange, Janet Jackson (specifically ‘The Velvet Rope’), Injury Reserve, Kindness, Phyllis Hyman, Bree Runway, Portishead and Feng Suave.
I would say my music genre is progressive R&B w/ a hint of experimental pop. I love being able to blur lines in some of my songs and creating an amalgamation of my influences while also keeping to what naturally comes to me as an artist, which is a lush bed of vulnerable lyricism, melodies dripping with sensuality and stacked harmonies helping me express and understand how I perceive love, lust, self confidence, insecurity, lasciviousness and my relationship to spirituality. It’s been a really beautiful journey so far of finding who I am and being able to connect with others who are on the same journey, especially when it’s queer people.
As of late, my lyric writing process kind of falls into two categories; it started as a poem or was something I explored in therapy…well actually there is a third category; it started out as a fantasy.
When it comes to production, my songwriting process can take a different turn; if I’m really inspired by a track that someone like my main producer, others9000, may build with me in mind or if I’m in the studio with two other producers I’m currently working with - SoDrove and Sure Why Not Nick - and we are just vibing, it might change a bit as in production may come first followed by lyrics or the other way around. I guess my songwriting process is really… open concept; very HGTV of me.
I am so proud of my most recent album, Saint Love, Saint Lust, Self Confidence - SLSLSC for short; it was my debut album and it was the first body of workI created that led me to sit back, listen to, and cry. I really felt like it opened up an opportunity for me to feel seen by me. I was so nervous to release this album because the songwriting felt even more personal, leaving me feeling exposed as I looked at myself in the mirror and grappled with the feeling of me not showing up for myself on “Love Club”; dealing with my own insecurities around my body and my desire to be wanted and needed, which lead me to feeling like I may not be enough on “Saint Love, Saint Lust, Self Confidence”; searching for answers from the universe while trying to be confident that the answer is in me on “When You Already Know”; struggling to understand if I prefer love or lust and how both of them can make me feel drowned on “Waterfall”; dealing with a break up that left me feeling blue because all I wanted was to be loved on “Saturday”;
exploring how lack of communication can be a major break down within relationships and how at times, it can lead you to feeling like a crazy person on “Psychopath (I Need You)”; allowing myself to be angry at myself for not listening to my own intuition when it came to a relationship that, honestly, fucked me up on “This Will Destroy You”; and finally, allowing myself to appreciate and embrace my sexual needs and desire on “Sliced Pomegranates”. And yes, I know I broke each of these songs down {laughs}, but I am SO PROUD of each of them; this album has been a catalyst for more confidence in who I am as an artist, human, and alien. Thank you to others9000, Luyo, B4Lasers, and Dashiell LeFrancis for allowing me the space to create this; I am forever grateful. Okay, cut your acceptance speech music fades in; I’m done.
I’ve been really lucky to be able to work with my friends when it comes to making music, which has meant a lot to me. In addition to the my friends who make up the #AlienGang, I’ve had the pleasure of being a songwriter and feature on a Big Dipper track called “It Feels Like”, which is a sexy summer anthem with a fire ass beat created by SoDrove - also shout out to Dipper for really inspiring me to let go, be free, love my body, and enjoy what I do more - and one of hip hops most underrated while personally celebrated rappers, Cakes Da Killa, who is featured on a remix of my first single, “Rodeo Star”. I’m looking forward to continuing to work with other artists that I admire in the future.
I think releasing “Rodeo Star” was a major feeling for me. I wrote and produced that song myself and was so nervous to put it out; I wouldn’t consider my a producer so it was definitely new territory for me, but I had this idea and it was haunting me for a couple days and then I finally sat down one day in my old apartment and though fuck it, I’m going to see what happens and four hours later, I had a full demo and vocals recorded, which are actually the same vocals that are on the official release. Releasing that track as such an amazing exercise in letting go and letting be, and that song catapulted my sound into a bunch of peoples apple airpods and beats (formerly) by dre. I still smile and get excited when I look back at the artwork that was created by my partner and the photography I worked on with my friends photographer Kyle Ellis & stylist Michael Hayashi. So proud.
The content of my music continues to evolve, while the main message of my music is self exploration; I think it’s so important for us to be open to facing ourselves and that includes the sides we find ugly, the ones we find beautiful, the secrets that we keep and the desires that haunt us. It’s a hard yet beautiful journey to explore who you are and that’s what I want my music to inspire.
I kind of trust my gut when it comes to my sound and style; I also keep a really tight knit group of people around who I trust to give me feedback or help me sort of gut check what’s next for me - they are amazing and I’m so grateful for them to let me sort of work out and word vomit my thoughts into ideas.
I also really work to be conscious of how I want to sound so I can stay confident in that while also being open to new ideas from those who I am working with.
Being an independent artist who has been trying to “make it” since twelve can really do your head in; I think the biggest challenge I’ve had is really motivating myself to continue to push when everything looks like it isn’t getting you closer to your dreams; it’s been difficult at times to war with that emotion or feeling and keep going, growing, and getting out there to create another song, another look, another universe, but I keep doing it {laughs} so I have found that if the songs and looks are still coming to me, I should at least honor that part of the process and allow myself to be present to it. I’m still working on my feelings while also still creating and feeling good about what it is that I’m making.
Also, being okay to take my time in a world that is built to make you feel like you should be constantly hustling, producing, creating, posting, editing, building, and making; I think most creatives struggle with this, specifically today where TikTok rules the airwaves and the process of creating music and so many people are pretending that they’ve arrived in hopes that they will arrive. It has been hard, at times, for me to honor my need to pause and be present to the world that is actually around me and not the algorithms, hustle hawking Twitter fingers, and artists who are seemingly creating 24/7.
I think of it in two ways: “I’m harsh enough to myself so anyone else’s criticism I can handle” and “there is not right or wrong way, so breathe through it, anticipate positive intent and take what is beneficial from the criticism, utilize it and throw the rest of it in the trash app.” Criticism and negative feedback can hurt, I’m not going to lie, though I think these two ways of processing it have helped me not take it so personal; though I will say, some people are honestly just haters and will never want or allow you to win in their minds so those are the ones you can throw way fully in the trash app.
Currently I’m in the songwriting process, working with my two friends SoDrove and Sure Why Not Nick; I’ve got some amazing tracks that are almost finalized and I’m excited to release at least one of them soon - as in probably March or April of 2023. In addition, I’ve been writing a lot of songs with my friend SoDrove that we are hoping to pitch to some artists, specifically one we have in mind for Bree Runway, Doechi, or Shea Coulee; if anyone wants to connect us to their team, hit us up {laughs}.
Get into therapy {laughs} if you’re able to & heal from whatever can hinder you from believing in yourself or putting yourself out there; I say that because being an artist is difficult in that the industry can be hard to navigate if you don’t have the connections or know the right people that can get you to where you want to be. Creating is the easiest part; it’s the rest of it that is hard and it can be taxing when it comes to your emotions, mental health, understanding of who you are, and your ability to separate your humanity from your artistry. So my advice is get into therapy to explore who you are, discuss who you want to be, and learn how to be open to that changing or not looking how you may have imagined it would.
Image 5&6: Photographer: Benjamin Romero
I came out to my family when I was 21 - I was a bit of a late bloomer. My family knew that I was gay for a while, though they went through a long phase of denying it and blaming it on the lack of my biological father being in my life, even though I grew up with strong male influences in my life through my grandfather, older cousin and step dad. When I officially told them, my mother was heart broken and my step dad said he wasn’t surprised because I wore skinny jeans {laughs}. Over time, my family has become one of my biggest supporters and have fallen in love with my partner, who I’ve been with for ten years. It was not an easy process and it took a lot of uncomfortable conversations and me finding the confidence to be confronting when need be and to listen when need be. Not to self-plug {laughs}; I actually wrote about my journey of coming out to my family and the impact it had on my own understanding of love in my poetry book (In)capable of Love.; I wanted to write this to heal and hopefully, in the process, help others heal as well because our family’s acceptance of who we are can really impact how we operate in the world.
I’ll be real honest - I’ve struggled with calling myself someone who is involved in the bear community; having such a terrible relationship with my body growing up rarely gave me the confidence to feel great about myself. My weight has gone up and down, from 165 lbs in college to 250 lbs, down to 175 and then back up to 245 as of now. This experience and the messaging that a lot of us a queer people receive about our bodies historically was something I really struggled with and it truly wasn’t until I wrote “It Feels Like” with Big Dipper that I was able to let go, embrace my body, and feel free. To be clear, when I say “Let Go”, I don’t mean that I didn’t have thoughts of leaving the video shoot, asking for a shirt at all times, and not showing 1% of my body because I did; the letting go was saying “I’m going to acknowledge these thoughts and still push through” and that was the work of letting go and being free, so now I find myself embracing me and working to share that embrace with others that I meet along the way because no matter what your body looks like, you deserved to be celebrated and experience being desired of.
I define body positivity as feeling good about yourself, however you define that. Whether that’s celebrating the way your knees connect to your calves, the way your lips move when you’re kissing someone, the size of your ear lobes, the number of centimeters between your head and your shoulders, your small but, your big butt, your large nose or tiny eyes; I think it’s about finding something to celebrate on you as a protest to the intrusive thoughts that attack you on the daily. I think it would be good for all of you reading this to take a second and think about one thing you love about yourself; I’ll start - I love my stomach and the roundness of it - it makes me feel strong and sexy as fuck, especially when I look in the mirror right before I hop in the shower.
Growing up as a kid I hated my body and all I wanted to do was find a way to love it thought that was hard; I recall failing PE on purpose because I didn’t want to get dressed in the locker room with other boys around because I didn’t want them to find something to make fun of me about - the only times I got dressed for PE was when I hid in the bathroom stall and waited for to hear everyone exit to the gym and then I’d finally get dressed, quietly changing my shorts just in case a student stayed behind a little longer like me. It was…such a terrible feeling and so odd to think back on. As I got older, I started to work out and began noticing a change in the way I saw my body physically while also noticing that those same thoughts - that same hatred - still permeated my brain; I felt like no matter what, I still felt like I hated my body. Then, through therapy and opening up to other friends and family about how I felt, I started to notice a shift toward embracing what I looked like no matter what the number of the scale looked like. It’s taken me 35 years to get to this place and I know I still have more to let go of, but I’m thankful for the peace I have found in knowing that I’m sickening as a human being no matter what I look like.
A mantra of mine is “My opinion is not law.” I think it’s something that has helped me push through moments where I can feel my judgemental or self-righteous side creeping up and it’s alway something that has allowed me to be more present for other people while maintaining boundaries where I need to when it comes to friendships and my relationship to myself. It’s also helped me stay in that HGTV open concept place when it comes to my creativity.
Honestly, my biggest fear is not being able to recognize that maybe my purpose in life is to live a beautiful life. I can get in my head a lot and being in my head can truly limit my from being able to be present to those who I love around me and from showing up for me when need be; a lot of this comes from thinking at times that what I am doing doesn’t matter or is not enough when what I’m doing does matter and is enough because nothing really matters and maybe the purpose of life is to live a beautiful life, however that looks for you or for me and I think at times, removing capitalistic and materialistic desires, I have love to give and receive and that honestly is really beautiful and fear can keep me from seeing that so that’s the biggest fear I am fighting to not be participant in, though that shit is hard.
vincethealien Music Videos
Special Thanks
I want to express my gratitude to vincethealien for taking the time to take part in this interview.
I'm thrilled to get the opportunity to question him in-depth and discover more about his Music, Body Positivity Journey and Professional life.
